


Ignite

by Amanotaku



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Angsty but not too much, Cooking, Fluff, He Tian is still kind of an asshole, High School, M/M, idk what cooking is, maybe really angsty idk, smol guanshan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-21 22:39:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13750659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanotaku/pseuds/Amanotaku
Summary: Guanshan fell in love with cooking becuase he was able to taste the emotion that each dish was made with. He had an obsession with emotions; he was addicted to figuring out those of others and those of his own. His observant eye caught little flames of the real He Tian, underneath the icy exterior of his. It was so beautiful, seeing what was real.Maybe that's why he loved cooking so much.Maybe that's why he hated the He Tian he saw at school.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just fell in love with 19 days and Tianshan. There's just something about this ship that makes it so amazing. HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY!

 

Mo Guanshan wasn't stupid like everyone thought he was. Even if his countenance and his red hair gave off the stereotypical delinquent vibe, he wasn't going around looking for trouble anymore. At least people stayed away from him; the less he had to interact with throes of bumbling idiots, the better.

 

He just didn't give a fuck about his grades and how low they were. It wasn't one of his priorities to be a star student.  He had fairly decent grades, and a straightforward plan for his future, to pursue what he did best, cooking. He just wanted to make it through school, graduate, and end up working as a cook at a little homey restaurant somewhere.

 

He was a simple man, with simple desires. Unlike his classmates, who had chasing girls as their priorities, his priority was his mother. She was a sweet woman with a heart of gold and kindred hands that made the best kind of food : the kind that was made with the utmost amount of love.

 

Her forte was baking. He would find her in her flour covered floral apron, various ingredients sprawled everywhere on the counters. Her desserts were whimsical, elegant, and had the perfect amount of sweetness, just like her. Guanshan was never able to enjoy any convenience store dessert after being graced with the amazing taste of his mother's mother confections.

 

His father was a chef, a good one too, but his father was trained for perfection. Guanshan  remembers the beef stew that his father would make on cold winter days. It may have been delicious and bursting with flavor, but it was too perfect, too calculated, missing the love that his wife was able to integrate into her own dishes.

 

When Guanshan took a bite of his father's food, he felt nothing. He felt empty, just like the food in front of him.

 

Maybe that was why he felt that same emotion, six years ago when he saw his father being hauled off to prison. Like his father’s cooking, he reciprocated the same feelings towards the man. And so when his mother was on her knees in front of the officer, destroyed by the fate of her husband, he stood there, empty.

 

They say that food is the way to one’s heart. Guanshan fully believes in that sentiment, seeing as he could analyze anyone based off of the food they made. His parents made food that was very indicative of their true selves. Even if they lied to him, even if they tried to hide things from him, he could always taste the raw emotions (Or lack of ) in their cooking.

 

He hated his own food though, because it tasted chaotic and frustrated, just like him. He didn't understand how He Tian could stomach eating his home cooked meals everyday.

 

Before him was a bubbling pot of beef stew, the same kind that his father used to make. They looked exactly the same, but Guanshan knew that upon taste, they were worlds apart.

 

Unlike his father's, his tasted of pure anger and frustration. The carrots were cut a little too large, perfectly normal for some, but unnatural and foreign to someone like Guanshan, who ate only the best of foods growing up. The soup itself was flavorful, almost too flavorful. It was bold and dynamic in its seasoning, almost as if the person making it was far too heavy handed, probably seasoning with vigor, or in Guanshan’s case, anger.

 

He winced at the taste of the stew. It tasted horrible and he knew it. Maybe He Tian would throw a fit at him today, using the poor taste of the food as a cheap excuse to knock Guanshan around like a punching bag.

 

The only reason why he stuck around He Tian was for the money. As shallow as it sounded, he, like He Tian, couldn't stand the taste of take out food anymore. It was a simple arrangement, in fact.

 

He Tian had the cooking skills of an inept three year old who assumed that cooking was turning the stove on and tossing random items into a pot. He would pay Guanshan, who actually made decent food, to make him meals. The generous earnings that Guanshan received would go half into his savings, and half to buy produce so he could eat real food on a day to day basis.

 

To turn his back on such an offer would be idiotic, to say the least. Now a senior in high school, Guanshan knew that the benefits had outweighed the costs. He no longer defied He Tian when it came to his random orders, knowing full well that He Tian, now 17, was more than capable of destroying him in any combat situation.

 

In fact, they both had become very tall and muscular over the years, but Guanshan had more lean muscle to his build, and He Tian was obviously the stronger of the two.

 

There were many instances in which Guanshan would enter He Tian’s home, groceries in hand, and find the other male working out. It was always an added bonus that He Tian wasn't a sight for sore eyes.

 

He was literal perfection in human form. He always looked absolutely sinful when he was shirtless, muscles glistening with perspiration and lips parted, taking short breaths as he recovered in between sets. Guanshan wouldn't lie and say he never found the He Tian attractive.

 

He Tian was notorious for being able to work his charm on both males and females. For him, everything came easy. His grades were immaculate, even without studying and he was already filthy rich as well, often spending money like it was water. How could one say no when presented with someone as amazing as He Tian?

 

Guanshan chuckled, mulling over every time he’s ever pushed the fucker off of him, rejecting his possible advances on him. He may have been outwardly obstinate to He Tian’s flirting unlike others, but the real thing that captivated him was the _real_ He Tian, the imperfect man that he had seen a glimpse of during He Tian’s lowest moments.

 

He Tian’s weakness was the flame that attracted Guanshan. It was those moments when Guanshan know he was in deep. How could he find a broken He Tian so perfect?

 

The vulnerability turned him from a god to a human. He Tian was just the same as him in the inside. Both of them were jaded and carrying the world upon their shoulders. He saw little flames of the real He Tian, underneath the icy exterior of his. It was so beautiful, seeing what was real.

 

Maybe that's why he loved cooking so much.

 

Maybe that's why he hated the He Tian he saw at school.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guanshan gets ANGSTy yikes

 

He Tian wasn't home yet. Guanshan sat alone at the dining table, staring at the door. Before him were a set of plates, with bowls filled up with the steaming beef stew. Beside the entree were rice and pickled vegetables. The tableware was pure white, reflecting the soft white lights of the home. 

 

Guanshan loved being alone; solitude allowed him to go over his thoughts, think about his day, and sort out his emotions. Growing up, his proclivity to separate himself from others made him an outcast, shaping him into his delinquent self. 

 

It wasn't like he needed the comfort of many others anyways. In silence, he could think clearly. In loneliness, he found a love for observing. Watching others was for Guanshan like living vicariously through the people he saw. So long as other people were happy, then he could be happy too. 

 

His young self was naive, thinking that he could make everyone happy. He was a people pleaser, and maybe he still was- only for certain people though. In his youth, he would do anything people asked him to.

 

In kindergarten, when the teacher would ask him to be the line leader, he took the job in all seriousness. In grade school, when the prettiest girl in class asked him meet her after class, he agreed with a bright smile and a nod of the head. He was too joyful with the revelation that someone wanted to talk to him to realize that she walked away giggling. So when class ended and he ran out to the little tree on the playground, he waited. She wasn't there. Only his bullies were. 

 

In middle school, he was belligerent, refusing to ever agree to other people’s requests. He didn't want to relive the pain of his happiness getting destroyed. The blood that stained the tree’s bark was enough haunting proof of it. He became volatile to everyone else, choosing to make people hate him and leave him alone. 

 

It was better that he didn't know their kindness because he would never be able to get over when they would take all their kindness back. He vowed to never be weak ever again, closing himself off to anyone that go close. And it usually worked, deterring almost every except for He Tian.

 

“Why so silent, Momo?” Released from his stupor, Guanshan looked before him to see the object of his thoughts in front of him. Why was his heart beating so fast in this moment? Those dark eyes were sharper than ever, seemingly staring into his soul, reading him like an open book.

 

“I…” he started, trying to find the words, “I'm just tired.” the redhead replied, averting his eyes to the bowl of stew in front on him. He quickly began to eat, motioning towards He Tian. “Uh you should eat before it gets cold.”

 

He didn't miss the bitter look that He Tian sent him from across the table before he began to eat. It was so similar to the looks kids would give him before they would beat him to a pulp. Guanshan chose not to react, but to continue eating his food. 

 

The room was enveloped in silence, only the sound of silverware and small sounds of chewing were heard. Guanshan, however, was quite the fast eater. His empty bowl meant that he needed something else to occupy himself with. 

 

He wondered if He Tian liked the food, or if he was just eating to occupy himself like Guanshan was. He Tian didn't comment on the taste of the food like he usually did. He didn't know why he cared so much about what He Tian thought. 

 

He Tian was no doubt special, but in what way? Guanshan recalled little moments that made his heart beat at a mile per minute. He appreciated every single time He Tian flirted with him; it made him feel important, it made him feel wanted. 

 

But then again, He Tian flirted with anything and everything. Guanshan would always stay away from He Tian if he was talking to a group of girls. He didn't want to hear those fake words leave He Tian’s mouth. 

 

He knew that all the girls in their class were vying to win He Tian’s heart, in a way, he was as well. But he wasn't idiotic enough to profess his love every day at school. He had better things to do, like avoid He Tian so he wouldn't get too attached.

 

He Tian probably only wanted to be with a girl anyways. Men were probably a way to get a quick fuck, no strings attached. Guanshan promised himself he would never stoop so low as to become a one night stand for He Tian, even if he loved the black haired male. He assumed he was just destined to not find love.

 

Maybe silence wasn't the best option in this situation. It made him brood over his thoughts, making him over think little things and make a big deal out of nothing. He could tell that his countenance had become sour. 

 

As he stood up to go place the dishes into the sink, a strong hand wrapped around his waist, pulling him flush against the owner of the arm, barely being able to place the bowls down before he dropped them. 

 

“What’s wrong Momo?” He Tian practically purred in his ear, eliciting a shrug from Guanshan.

 

“I told you. I'm just tired.” He didn't even fight back, only dejectedly escaping from the other’s grip to start washing dishes. 

 

Before he could even turn on the water, a hand wrapped around his neck and slammed him face first into the tall cabinet wall beside the sink. He Tian had a vice grip on his neck, pinning him to the wall, and his other hand was twisting Guanshan’s arm behind his back.

 

He Tian’s voice was in a low growl. “Tell me the fucking truth Guanshan. I told you that you couldn't lie to me.”

 

“I'm not a possession you asshole, stop treating me like a piece of meat.” His mother always told him to stand up for himself. 

 

“Is that what this is about?” He Tian asked. “Do you want to be special? I sure as hell treat you better than I treat other people Momo.” His grip on Guanshan’s neck became tighter and tighter, sure to bruise once the whole ordeal was over. 

 

Struggling, Guanshan spoke in return, “So getting treated better is equivalent to getting pinned to a wall when I say things you don't like? You seriously have the worst personality.”

Enraged, He Tian let him go, this time turning the redhead so that Guanshan’s back was against the wall. He Tian had a dark look in eyes, a look that made the male look evil, nothing like the He Tian that Guanshan knew. 

 

“I dare you to say that one more time Momo,” he threatened, bringing his face closer to Guanshan’s. 

 

Maybe it was the pent up anger that made Guanshan act thoughtlessly. In true Guanshan fashion, he furrowed his brows in anger and spat back, “Your personality is shitty and the only reason why you have a flock of worshippers at school is because they're chasing after your money.”

 

Wrong move. He Tian looked like he wanted to kill the redhead. He stood there, silent, just staring at him, paralyzing Guanshan with fear. 

 

Guanshan’s heart was beating rapidly. It had been a long time since he had last been beaten up by He Tian. The last time was over something so trivial. Upon refusing to skip school with He Tian, he was met with a powerful knee to the chest, and he was dragged off of school grounds by a smiling He Tian. 

 

When he got home, he found out that his lower left rib was fractured after stopping by the little clinic across the street. Nobody knew that he spent the rest of the night in bed, crying like the younger Guanshan did in the hospital bed years ago after getting beat up by those cruel kids. 

 

Dealing with He Tian was dangerous. He couldn't move, stuck against the wall, immobile. All he could think about was getting hurt again, his body feeling broken beyond no end, the feeling of wanting to hide from all of the fighting and the confrontation.

 

Like his rapid heart beat, his breaths became shorter and faster. He felt a wave of nausea pass over him, his stomach getting the same tell tale signs of throwing up.

 

So Guanshan did what he always did when he was in a stressful situation: he keeled over and emptied the contents of his stomach, sobbing as he did so. It got even worse when he realized he basically committed a cardinal sin by messing up He Tian’s immaculate floors. 

 

He didn’t even realize that He Tian was right by his side until he felt familiar hands rubbing circles on his back, comforting him as he continued to suffer. By the time he was done, he felt dizzy, unable to stand up on his weak legs. A failed attempt at standing up led to him seeing white and almost passing out, with He Tian effortlessly catching him before he hit the ground.

 

Guanshan felt like he was floating. He could barely register what was happening after falling into He Tian’s arms except for the feeling of getting carried. Familiar steps told him that he was most likely headed towards He Tian’s bed. The slow steps that the male carrying him took basically lulled him to sleep. He felt his eyesight go blurry, and eventually, they closed, enveloping him into utter darkness. 

 

Had he been able to stay conscious for even a little long, he would have felt himself be laid gently on the soft bed, with strong hands shakily caressing his sleeping face as He Tian settled him in. 

 

“I’m sorry Momo, but it seems like I only know how to break the things I love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK if you guys like how I'm characterizing Guanshan. I want to be able to highlight how vulnerable he is, especially because he's actually such a bright and loving person that now wants to close himself off in order to protect himself. He's full of contradictions because there's a discourse between what he really feels and how he thinks he SHOULD feel. Hopefully I can accurately portray that haha


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm BACKK!! Ive seriously fallen in love with all of these Tianshan developments in the recent chapters! THEYRE LITERALLY SO CUTE I WANT TO CRY

 

 

Guanshan finds himself at school again, walking through the dreary gates at the entrance. He passed through throes students, being sure to avoid anyone and everyone. He couldn't focus on what others were saying around him though, only hearing little unintelligible snippets of conversation as he weaved through the crowds of students.

 

There was something odd about the whole situation that he couldn't place a finger on though. In the back of his mind, something was telling him that there was something very wrong, unease growing as he continued to make his way towards his classroom

 

It was a beautiful day. There were clouds in the sky, ensuring that the weather wouldn't be too hot, but the clouds parted enough to allow golden streams of sunshine to give warmth to the ground below. The little breeze in the air sent little chills up his arm, indicative of the spring season.

 

By the time he made it to his classroom, he realized that he sat in the classroom, alone. Though there were other students milling about the room, socializing before their stringent teacher would start class, Guanshan became strikingly aware that the seat beside him was empty.

 

There was no smiling He Tian next to him, he wasn't tipping back in his chair, teasing Guanshan like he did every morning. He didn't even appear out of nowhere like usual, considering he usually walked to school with the redhead on a daily basis.

 

Curious, Guanshan carelessly tossed his bag on the desk and reached into his pocket for his phone. Maybe He Tian was sick and needed him to come over and cook for him. As much as his mother told him to care about school, if He Tian wanted him to, he would ditch class without a second thought and go help him.

 

After fumbling in his pockets, he finally pulled out his phone. It was quite expensive, to say the least. The kind of phone that people like Guanshan could never own, except when it was gifted by an annoyingly rich He Tian, under the guise that Tian wanted to give him something practical for his birthday.

 

Opening up his phone, he quickly entered the messages, finding it weird that he got no good morning text from He Tian. The little app even showed him that He Tian was active, meaning that he'd basically forgotten about Guanshan, or he was ignoring him.

 

Suddenly, a short girl burst into the classroom, looking like she had ran a marathon in order to get to the class. She had the look in her eye that signalled that she had lots of information, the slight upturn of her lips and sparkle in her eye that Guanshan saw in many girls at the school.

 

Her words though, caught Guanshan off guard.

 

“He Tian just asked out Ming Xiao in the front courtyard!”

 

Guanshan stood up abruptly, almost knocking over his desk. He quickly pocketed his phone as he bolted out of the room, desperate to see if the rumor was true or not. He found himself sprinting down the hallways, students already making way for him so they wouldn't get knocked over in his haste.

 

He could have sworn that the courtyard was far closer. His lungs and his legs were burning, but he pushed aside the pain, continuing to dash even faster.

 

And then he saw He Tian in the middle of the courtyard embracing a smaller girl, with a little crowd of other students watching them. He instantly felt dread fill his entire being, his breathing became short and he felt dizzy.

 

His vision became blurry, probably because he could feel tears welling in his eyes. Everything just seemed to slow down; it was like the movies He Tian would force him to watch. All he could see was was white.

 

* * *

 

Guanshan shot out of bed, finding himself sitting upright in He Tian ’s large bed, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. His heart was racing, anxious and frantic until he grabbed the sheets and realized that everything was just a dream.

 

He turned to the side, finding himself face to face with a bewildered He Tian who had witnessed him writing and practically screaming during his dream. Surprisingly, it was He Tian who had averted his eyes first, looking to the side ashamedly as his fingers occupied themselves by fiddling with the sheets.

 

This situation itself was comical, almost breathing awkwardness. The two of them were close together on the center of the bed, alluding that they had slept right up next to each other through the night. Guanshan noticed that they both were shirtless, He Tian probably changing him out of his flight clothing after his panic attack from last night.

 

They were sitting upright in bed in an extended period of silence, Guanshan still collecting himself, and He Tian refusing to do anything other than stare blankly at the ground. Somewhere along the lines, He Tian’s anxious hands had lightly brushed over Guanshan’s, causing the redhead to flinch and pull his hand back as if he had been burned.

 

Suddenly, He Tian  spoke up. “Do you really think of me that badly Momo?”

 

Confused, Guanshan looked at He Tian, taking in the sight of his messy hair and his sculpted body.  “What do you mean?” He questioned.

 

He Tian weakly gestured at his hand, a painful smile on his face. “You move away like I'm going to hurt you.”

 

“I was just startled,” he said, trying to hide the growing blush on his face from the dark haired male. “I had a really bad dream anyways so I was already on edge.”

 

“Do you always dream about me?”

 

Flustered, he pulled the sheets close to him, trying not to break eye contact even though he really wanted to. “Fucking perverted bast-"

 

“You were thrashing around in your sleep, saying ‘He Tian, no.’ Sounds more like a fucking nightmare to me.” He Tian ran a frustrated hand through his hair, still quite unreadable. “You know, in psych class, they say dreams express how you truly think and feel. The subconscious tells no lies.”

 

“... He Tian.”

 

“The way you dream of me makes me sound like a fucking monster, Momo. If I'm that horrible, why pretend to be my friend?”

 

From beside him, Guanshan scoffed. “If you thought that shit was a nightmare, then you really don't know me at all. And besides, the same goes for you. You don't have to feel obligated to hang out with me. You already have a bunch of people who like you any-"

 

“Are you scared of me?” He Tian interjected.

 

“That's situational,” Guanshan started. “During middle school, you were a fucking dick. I had full belief that you could, and would, kill me if I ever said no to you. Sometimes I would have nightmares of you beating me up and then dumping my body in the disposal out back. ”

 

“That bad? I'm so sorry Momo.”

 

“I'm sure you are,” he said sarcastically. “Threatening to kill me and also threatening to stitch my mouth shut was a mistake on your part if you wanted to make friends.”

 

He Tian sighed guiltily. “I had a superiority complex and an ego the size of the moon back then.”

 

“Anyways, I had a moment yesterday because I thought you were going to beat me up again.” He sighed, deciding to continue. “I'll be real with you know, considering we’re having a little heart to heart. The last time you hit me, you fractured my lower rib.”

 

He Tian winced at the fact, knowing just how bad he was back then.

 

“I spent the of the night crying in my room after that,” Guanshan admitted, looking very embarrassed to even admit weakness in front of He Tian. “I know,” he humorlessly chuckled, “that’s a little bitch move, but it hurt so bad physically and emotionally.”

 

The dark haired male suddenly hugged Guanshan, pressing their bare chests together, causing the red head to turn as red as his hair. “I hope you know I’m sorry for everything,” He Tian whispered, pulling Guanshan even closer to him.

 

For He Tian, it was an act of pleading. He hoped that Guanshan would feel how fast his heart was beating, that Guanshan would hear how sincere his voice was. Maybe, when their skin touched, he would feel the same spark that He Tian felt. He’d feel all of the anguish and longing; he’d feel the warmth from their bodies rivaling the warmth of the love he was trying to convey.

 

For Guanshan, it was a dream. He’s always wondered how it felt to be held by the other. Not like how they usually acted, in their game of relentless push and pull, in which He Tian would push his limits, and Guanshan would be ready to pull away like the coward he was. But in the moment, he knew it was sincere. And like He Tian, it made his heart beat in time with the other’s.

 

And so they stayed like that, left in each other's arms, clinging like the other was their life line. Words weren’t needed to express all of their emotions, they were grounded by each other’s presence, allowing the synchronized pulsing of their hearts do all of the talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my my boys are falling in lOVEEEEEE


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF I WAS QUICK WITH THE UPDATE

Guanshan slammed his face onto the desk in front of him, groaning at the fact that they had had physics test tomorrow that he was  _ not _ ready for. The wood table was covered in his scattered, but quite organized notes and his various pens and highlighters. When he decided to take school more seriously, he was embarrassed that he studied best by making aesthetic notes.

 

He used to hide his pencil case in his bag, only pulling out one or two pens when needed. Now, he didn’t care much for how his classmates saw him. He would start off the day by dumping his sea of pens onto his desk before class started, being careful not to let any of them roll off of his desk. Occasionally, one would fall off his desk and clatter onto the ground, and he would quickly snatch it up before He Tian would take it hostage. Nice pens were quite expensive for someone like Guanshan, and he intended to treasure them while he had them.

 

He Tian would always make fun of him for his “girly looking” notes after Guanshan had given him notes from a class he missed while sick. It wasn’t his fault that he just enjoyed having visually appealing notes; the more effort he made in writing the notes, the longer the information would linger in his mind.

 

Besides, the habit even earned him friends, more so acquaintances, outside of He Tian. Guanshan found out that many other girls in class loved nice pens and cute stationery, and upon discovery of his note taking style, had flocked to him like moths to a flame. They would occasionally invite him out for study sessions or trips to the bookstore whenever there was a new release of pens.

 

In all honesty, Guanshan believed that his classmates just wanted to steal his notes and also be in He Tian’s presence. Every time he would go out on an excursion with his female classmates, He Tian was sure to come as well. He would insist on sticking right next to Guanshan, choosing to charm the girls with his usual sweet talk as he dragged Guanshan along. He wouldn’t miss the blushes that they all sported whenever He Tian would smile their way. 

 

Groaning in frustration, Guanshan sat up straight again, organizing his notes before pulling out the page on his worst topic, quantum mechanics. Staring at the page didn’t help him much. The concept was honestly the hardest thing he’d ever laid eyes on. 

 

“Fuck this shit,” he sighed, tossing his notes onto the desk. He wasn’t getting anywhere with his studying, and honestly he was too bothered by the events of that night, days before, when he had woken up in bed with He Tian, the two of them in some odd “heart to heart” that never should have occured between two guys like them.

 

He couldn’t stop thinking about how they hugged, how close they were, how… at peace the two of them were in that moment. He’d wake up from his dreams, with some hope that He Tian may be beside him like that day. It was idiotic, pining for love like that. It made him feel even worse on the inside. Having a little taste and then losing is far worse than never having it, after all.

 

How could He Tian be so blase about everything that happened between them? The taller male simply carried on with his life as if nothing was wrong, going back to being the seemingly perfect model student that he was. It was as if he put whatever had happened out of sight and out of mind. He went back to the push and pull routine that the two of them had, teasing and joking whenever he could.

 

The thought of that was infuriating, to say the least. He didn’t know how to feel if he was the only one that had felt like their heart had been set on fire that day. Guanshan knew that he liked He Tian; it had been a given fact ever since they had started high school. But now, more than ever, he felt like his middle school self, falling in love with He Tian all over again.

 

“Why the sad face Momo? Physics too hard?” And there was He Tian, here to ruin the rest of his day (in a good way, not that he would admit it). Turning to the side, he was greeted with the sight of He Tian, who, as always, had his uniform partly undone, the kind of “I woke up flawless” vibe that attracted all the girls to him. 

 

Frustrated, Guanshan leaned back in his chair, moaning about the pains of physics. “Of course it is, dumbass. I don’t even know how the hell I’m going to understand quantum mechanics in time for the exam.” Resting his head between his hands, he yawned tiredly. “I even stayed up last night rewriting all of my notes.”

 

He Tian pulled up his chair to Guanshan’s desk, handing the redhead his dilapidated notebook. “Have my notes if you’re struggling, Momo. Not like I even need this to score the highest next week.” 

 

“Yeah no thanks. I can’t even read your chicken scratch,” he said, outright throwing the notebook at He Tian’s smirking face, frowning when the smug asshole caught it with one hand. “Anyways, why do I even need to know this shit? I’ll never need any of this in the future when I’m just making food all day.”

 

“That’s just how school is, I guess.” He was right. There really was no reason to study all of these subjects for his own career path, but his mother always insisted how important education was, pushing him to do well in his classes, or at least just try to learn. 

 

He always wondered what He Tian was going to be. The other was a genius, never having to try to study at all while still being the top student in their class. He would always avoid the question whenever Guanshan asked. He could tell that He Tian would try to masterfully evade the question, it happened far too often to me not noticed. But Guanshan always noticed. It wasn’t like he was stupid, just not as smart as He Tian.

 

He knew that He Tian was involved in some obscure shady business, probably in the mafia or something. He Tian exuded danger when he was outside school, and had some quite terrifying fighting skills. Back in middle school, he noticed that in their many fights, He Tian’s eyes looked wild; they were calm and calculating, but had the fierceness of a predator that wouldn’t hesitate to rip out your throat.

 

He also never told He Tian that while cleaning his home, he ran across one too many firearms. He remembered the first time he found a weapon in He Tian’s apartment. It was a pristine, elegant pistol that he had found He Tian’s underwear drawer, hidden underneath a little panel. Guanshan was just minding his business, folding He Tian’s laundry like he always did on Sunday afternoons while He Tian was out of town, on his “weekly errands.”

 

While reorganizing the clothing, he had found a little area of the drawer that was discolored.  Curious, he investigated the area, only to find that it was a fake panel that hid a firearm underneath. The gun was very clean, but he noticed little specks on blood that littered the barrel, as if it were shot point blank. He Tian was obviously dealing with some serious shit if he had a gun stored beneath his underwear out of all places. 

 

That scared him. The fact that He Tian could be so perfect on the outside, a model student and perfect boy, but then have a darker side, one that was too mysterious and dangerous for regular people like Guanshan. He wondered if He Tian used it a lot, if he regularly had to end someone’s life after they parted ways for the day, when He Tian would disappear into some back alley like he always did, and Guanshan would merely walk away, pretending that he didn’t know that He Tian had blood on his hands.

 

He pretended not to care when he would find He Tian bleeding, saying nothing and only helping the other patch up his wounds, being careful to give him the best treatment. He never questioned why or how the hell He Tian could manage to get stab wounds or a possible bullet grazing his shoulder and still be able to trudge home for Guanshan to tend to his injuries.

 

Not to mention his extremely intimidating older brother, He Cheng, who he thought was some sort of hitman for the mafia. He once made eye contact with the elder He, and he felt utterly paralyzed with fear. He had a dominating aura, one that would feel like the air was getting thicker, gaining weight and pressing down on the lungs, making it hard to breathe. 

 

The same could be said for He Tian, but these days, he tended to take Guanshan’s breath away in a more welcome way. Today seemed to be like one of those days.

 

“Hey,” He Tian said, nudging him gently on the shoulder, “how about I order pizza so we can study? It’ll only take me an hour for me to turn you into the best student in this class, besides me of course.” The impish smile that Guanshan received was definitely making his heart beat faster, and yes, took his breath away.

 

Guanshan ended up fumbling with his notes, desperately trying to prevent He Tian from seeing his blush. He looked the other way, being sure to collect himself before he replied. “Yeah, sure, uh that’s great,” he said, inwardly cursing himself for saying something that idiotic to the other. He was sure that He Tian would catch on and tease him to no end for this.

 

“Great!” He exclaimed, standing up in his seat. “Alright Momo, pack your girly ass notes,” he grinned, tossing his bag over his shoulder, “we’re going to ditch today!” Before he even realized it, He Tian was already dragging him out the door of their classroom, towards the restroom at the end of the hall. 

 

“Wait what do you mean ditching? I need to be in class so I can take notes!” He protested, noncommittally taking swings at He Tian to force him to let go. “I sure as hell ain’t skipping class for a little day of enjoyment!”

 

His protests fell upon deaf ears, seeing as He Tian already tossed their bags out of the restroom window. “This is way more important than anything we’ll learn in class today,” the other smirked, kicking the window wide open with his left foot. Guanshan really hoped that He Tian wasn’t planning in jumping out of the window, especially because they were on the second floor of the building.

 

“I swear to god if you want me to jump out of this fucking window, I’m going to kill you.” At this point, He Tian was already hanging out of the window, the only thing keeping him up was his left hand on the ledge and the right hand that was still grasped in Guanshan’s. “Jump all you want, bitch, but I’m not committing suicide today.”

 

He Tian’s smile grew even wider that this, “if you don’t jump with me, I’m going to trash all your pens and notes. I tossed out backpacks out the window first, right Momo? If you want them back, then you know what to do.”

 

“Wai-” The bastard had already left go of his hand, falling to the ground rather gracefully, in full He Tian fashion.

 

Guanshan really did not want to jump out of window. Not on a happy Monday morning like today. Not when he promised himself when he woke up that it was going to be a regular day, like always. Not on a day he really wanted to stay back and listen to his teachers for once in his life.

 

But He Tian had his precious school supplies, and he knew that the rich fucker would not hesitate to toss them into the river. He had wished for a normal day, but when was a day ever normal when He Tian was around. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he poised himself on the ledge, looking down to where He Tian was on the ground, making huge gestured that beckoned him to join the other. His hands were trembling, but his pens needed him, they needed him to stop being a ‘little bitch’ and jump out of the goddamned window.

 

“HEY BITCH! YOU BETTER CATCH MY DEADASS!”

 

And then he jumped, hoping to god that He Tian wouldn’t miss.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Momo's dedication to his pens is my sHIT
> 
> ALSO I WANTED TO ASK FOR SOME INPUT!
> 
> Would you guys like an idol!au tianshan fic? Idk im on spring break so I had time to watch all of idol producer and I thought that it would be a fun idea
> 
> Like this story is supposed to be angsty and romantic, but the idol one would be more comedy and just fun
> 
> Make sure to comment below! I wanna know if anyone would read it hahah


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